Resurfacing

Hello there ...

April 15th was so long ago ... how did that happen? I have more than a few posts about my Scriptures in draft mode ... but none done to post. I am 7 behind ... and I will catch up ... but my heart is so overwhelmed with God's faithfulness that I just had to resurface and post how God's been weaving Himself between myself and a dear sweet sister in Christ ... bringing purpose to me and comfort to her ... taking care of His children. Let's start with the pieces, that we may put them all together and see the intricate and purposeful hand of God in action.


Six years ago:

Most of you know that I had cancer 6 years ago. I was 36 with 2 small children. I just knew that I had it, even before I was diagnosed. What is more, I just knew that I was to go through the storm ... and asked people to pray simply "for the strength to do God's will." I knew deep in my soul that it was something that God was going to take me to and through. I knew that there had to be a purposing in it ... and over the years the fruits of His hand in it have been numerous.


One month ago:

I ran into someone that I recognized from church at a local beauty supply store and found myself compelled to share the short version of my cancer testimony. (I was there celebrating my 6 year clean bill of health with a discount haircut ... had a coupon ... and a new bottle of nail polish.) I remember contemplating why I had shared so quickly ... to someone that I really have not spent much time with ... but quickly forgot about it as the rest of my day wrapped itself around me.


Last Week:

I was fast forwarding through all the non-essential parts of So You Think You Can Dance ... watching only the dances ... (I have always been drawn to dance) ... when I watched one that I just knew had to be about a woman with cancer. I rewound ... don't you jut love Tivo? ... and watched the part of the show that explains the dance and the choreographer's inspiration for creating it. The dance was to honor a friend of his who is currently fighting breast cancer ... he just knew it was a subject that should be brought into the light. Anyway, the piece is amazing. Most of us have had to walk along side someone with this awful disease ... so I am sure that most of us can relate with this dance. I did. It reminded me of my cancer walk with God. He was always there for me ... holding me ... lifting me ... catching me ... and lifting me when I could not walk a single step more. (Don't miss that little hop that she does at the end just before he picks her up and carries her on his shoulders? She has no more strength ... he carries her.) It was as if the choreographer had captured my moments of weakness ... moments of frustration when I too pounded my fists ... the moments when I soared with God's help ... and made them into a dance. I have watched it many a time ... and it has reminded me of God's promise to walk in the trials with us ... it reminded me about the emotions of the disease ... and increased my compassion for those that are walking it now. It reminded me that I am a miracle with a purpose. That I am to put myself out there and be ready for opportunities to share what God has done. Take a minute to watch it ... imagine that it is God dancing with a woman struggling and then read on.(You will be taken to the movie on YouTube. After you watch it ..just click your back arrow and you will be directed back to the Blog.) PLEASE doin't bypass the video ... it is only 1:43 long and it is clean. :)

Click here to watch the movie.

Today - Part 1:

At church today the verse(s) on the cover of the bulletin caught my eye, heart, and soul. It was:

I have called you by name; you are Mine!
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
And through the rivers, they will not overflow you
When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched,
Nor will the flame burn you. (Isaiah 43:1-2)

While in church the line that really stuck with me was ... I have called you by name; you are mine. I was so humbled by it, and could not help but think of God as my Abba father speaking it to me ....

I am scared of (fill in the blank)
I have called you by name; you are mine ... have no fear

Father can you hear me? I am so alone.
I have called you by name; you are mine ... you are far from alone

Father I am so insecure sometimes ...
I have called you by name; you are mine ... your security is in my Son

I have called you by name ...

Oh that the creator of the universe has called me ... not just called me ... but by name.

You are mine.

The weight of that is so humbling. That I, who am so unworthy, am His. It is just so overwhelming and amazing to me.


There is more to the verse though ... Let's look at it again ...

Do not fear, for I have redeemed you.
I have called you by name; you are Mine!
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
And through the rivers, they will not overflow you
When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched,
Nor will the flame burn you. (Isaiah 43:1-2)

Do not fear. Why? Because we are redeemed. We are called by name. We are His! And if that were not enough, God goes on to promise three things about times of trial:

1. He will be with us.
2. Our trial will not be too big for us ... because we are with Him.
3. Because we are with Him ... amazing and unbelievable things can happen ... we will not be burned or even scorched by the fire we are in. (Remember the fiery furnace?)

All 3 of these statements have to do with Him. What He alone is capable of doing for us.

Our part in all this ...

can be found in the first 3 words ... do not fear.


This Morning - Part 2:

The person that I ran into at the beauty supply place sought me out to tell me that our meeting had not been an accident, but rather one constructed by God. As it turned out, she had a mammogram two weeks later and found out that there is a lump in her breast. (Now... let me just say that this DOES NOT mean that she has cancer. Lumps happen. What it is, is much like a storm that one sees on the distant horizon ... you just have to remain in God's shadow and wait for him to reveal how the storm will or will not affect you.) We talked, cried, and prayed together. I prayed what had stood out to me at church over her ... "He has called you by name ... you are His." All the compassion and love stirred in me by the video poured out as I held her and went to our Father's throne with her in prayer. And I could see how God had orchestrated all the little events together for this one moment in time.


Soon:

God has brought us together this sweet sister and I. We now have each other's cell phone numbers programmed in and are planning on talking and praying together as she takes steps to find out what kind of lump hers is. Tomorrow I will be sending her a card with the rest of the verse written inside it and I am going to call her just to see how she is doing. I am sure that she sees this whole thing as God doing something amazing for her, but I would like to propose that He is doing something amazing for both of us. In using me, He is saying "Lisa, I have redeemed you ... and you are mine" ... He is using that which He has redeemed and giving purpose to the walk that He asked me to do. I am His ... and I am so greatful that I am.


Celebrate each moment today my friends. :)

Seeking

How many e-mails do you get a day? Me, I get a fair amount. Some I read, others I skim, while others I release back into cyberspace without a second glance. (Don't worry if you are reading this blog, you can be sure that your e-mail has NEVER met that third fate. :o) Promise!) E-mails have made me laugh ... have made me cry ... have warmed my heart ... have kept me close to people that I otherwise might have lost contact with ... and on a rare occasion have shifted the course of my life and changed it. I received such an e-mail today. It had one a few sentences in it, but with a few click of my mouse, I was committing to something that I am sure will change my life forever. Curious ... you might have gotten it as well ... it said: "Also, click on the link (on the side of the page) to Beth Moore's blog - there is a scripture memory challenge she is doing this year - anyone game?" Anyone game? Memorizing? You've got to be kidding! Memorizing is not really a "game" that I am skilled in for two reasons that I have held tight to for many years now ... 1. Chemo brain. (My memory has never quite been the same since going through treatment 5 years ago.) AND 2. Age! If I live to be in my eighties, I am half-way through my life, which makes total sense because I can only remember things about half of the time! Drea has for many a study been trying to get me to memorize scripture. I know the importance of it. I know that it is what God wants ... but, it is just not something I am good at. (See reasons 1 and 2 above.)

So, today when I read the posts on Beth's blog, I was not really imagining that I would walk away from it commiting to learn a new verse or verse section evey two weeks! In fact I went there convinced that it would not move me in the slightestest ... (Refer once again to reasons 1 and 2 above ... and then add that I am not in the least a committed person when it comes to spending a great deal of time with the Lord. (OK ... so that was brutally honest, but if you know me well you know that I am not really a good liar and have thus given up really trying. Also, if this year is to really show the amazing ability of God to change hearts you should know where mine is right now.) It involves index cards ... and although Drea gets all tingly and excited at the sound of that, I really do not. It involves posting a commitment ... to commit in front of the world and then not follow through would be a living lie and I have explained how I am about lying. And then there was the whole thing about MEMORIZATION! Me? You already know the drill! And then it hit me. One quick thought that absolutely blew excuses 1 and 2 out of the water.

Two months ago I joined Coupon Sense. I will not go into great detail about it here, as much as I would like to, but I will go as far as to explain that it involves a binder with hundreds of different coupons in it. My binder is huge! How in the world does this matter you ask? It matters because when I look at the ads I know if I have a coupon for an item or not and exactly where I can find it in my binder. That is not to say that it is a book of unorganized clutter ... that it is not. But, without opening it I can tell you if I have a coupon for something and sometimes even how much it is for! I memorize them because they are important to me. (Honesty remember?) So, how could I not? How could I do anything but agree, knowing that God was most certainly watching me come to this realization, waiting to see what I would do with the knowledge. So I joined the Siesta Scripture Memory Team. It works basically like this: I have agreed to post a verse that I am commiting to memorize and meditate on the 1st and the 15th of every month on Beth's blog along with every other person who has made the commitment. I have agreed to put them on index cards and memorize them, meditate on them, and give them residence in my heart.

So, that sounds really simple right? Well, if I am going to be honest before you my sisters and friends ... which you know I will ... the problem is not so much the memorization, as was disproven above, but rather that I have not placed much importance on being actively engaged in the process of deepening my realtionship with God. Yes, I attend Bible studies. I go to church every Sunday, because I love it ... not because I am obligated to it. But I am prone to eat the seed rather than sew it for a harvest. (Last week in Bible study Beth Moore was sharing how starving people that were given seeds in Africa were tending to eat them rather than plant them ... leaving no long term benefit. She continued my drawing a parallel about how we are often so very much like those people. How we gobble up teachings instead of planting them in our lives and letting the harvest of change come.) Can't remember God's Word, but can remember your coupons? Eating seed. Make plenty of time to sew, but have not the time to even finish your Bible study? Eating seed. The bottom line truth? I have not made growing and seeking God even one of the top 10 priorities in my life, let alone the most important.

So what does one do when they openly admit that they are at a place such as this? They find it as a place to begin! This blog will be a part of my journey. It is my accountability piece. I will post my verses on the first and the 15th here as well. I will also share insights about them along the way. So please ... share this journey with me. I am sure that God will do great things!

My first verse is ...

"And I will give them an heart to know me, that I am the
LORD: and they shall be my people, and I will be their
God: for they shall return unto me with their whole
heart."
-Jeremiah 24:7, KJV

The journey has to begin with having a heart to know Him ... I have tried to do this on my own. I have ended up eating seed! This verse sounds like a promise to me. I sure hope it is, because it is my prayer. I am going to ask that he plant this desire in my heart and let the harvest grow.
Thank you for joining me in this adventure. Pray for me. Pray for faithfulness and dedication. Thank you for allowing me to be so painfully transparent with the truths about my heart.

Lisa


Father,
Thank you for teaching me today. Thank you for being active in my life and for pursuing me, even though I should be pursuing you. Give me a heart to know you that you are the LORD and to make you the most important priority in my life. Help me to plant your Word in my heart and grow it. Give me a heart for you above all else. Speak into my life Father, I am listening.
Amen

Above all am I convinced of the need, irrevocable and inescapable, of
every human heart, for God. No matter how we try to escape, to lose
ourselves in restless seeking, we cannot separate ourselves
from our divine source. There is no substitute for God.

A. J. Cronin