Sin on a Silver Platter

This weekend I was blessed to spend the weekend with 3 of my 5 closest friends in the whole world in Tucson attending the Beth Moore conference. Having missed the Siesta Sister Memorization Fiesta, I was super excited to be able to go to this one and it could not have come at a better time. I have had many seasons in my walk with Christ. I have had seasons of complete dependence and seasons of independence. There have been seasons of fruit, and seasons of drought. Seasons of great change, and then those in which I hardly changed at all. But ... there has never been a season such as the one that I am coming out of now.

You see something happened a few weeks ago that made me decide to basically just take a break from God. I was so focused on the perceived cause of my break instead of my response, that I never even realized that I was in a state of rebellion. That is until God started calling me home last week. I will keep the ways private, but He did three separate things through three separate people to show me that although I was not speaking, He was. Suffice to say that He spoke loud enough that I knew my time of ignoring Him and the reasons I was doing so was coming to an end. I knew what He was going to ask of me. He was going to ask me to forgive ... something that I was not sure I would be able to do with all the raw feelings of hurt that had not improved at all. I began to see that I had not done what God asks us to do repeatedly in the Bible, and that my choice not to was tearing me apart. So I was looking forward to the weekend of forgiving. What I would never have guessed was that I was actually about to have my own sin handed to me on a silver platter.

It all started Friday night. Standing outside the doors I just knew that He would use the weekend to restore and resurrect my battered soul. I was both excited and completely scared as I waited. Friday night was good. The worship was anointed, as was the teaching. I cried and cried, but still felt the burden of my hurts. Then came Saturday ... specifically the second set of worship when Travis Cottrell spoke the words laid upon his heart. How each word became my heart beating ... how deeply they fell upon me ... how completely they consumed me. Travis suggested that we go to our knees if there were things that were burdening us, that we take them to the mercy-seat. There was not doubt in my mind that was exactly where my Father would have me go to meet Him. Then, the song began. There are not words to sufficiently describe what each note, each word, did ... suffice it to say ... they brought me to my knees and His feet. One word Travis spoke kept echoing in my soul ... surrender. God was calling me home ... but wanted me to come home in a stance of surrender ... physically ... spiritually ... and emotionally. Once there ... God quickly showed me that what had started out as my hurt had become my sin. My sin of unforgiveness. My sin of turning from Him. My sin of rebellion. How quickly I realized that coming home meant asking for forgiveness for my sin ... not the judgment of someone else's. Ouch! My pride crumbled onto the metal floor of the risers I was kneeling on as I confessed it and asked for forgiveness.

I learned a few lessons at the end of this season. I will forewarn you that none of them are earth shattering. They are things that I knew in my head, and heart. I am sure they are all things that we would read and say, "Duh ... I know that!" I would have. BUT, even with that said, I fell. So here goes....

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We all carry hurts around. Some are bigger than others. One thing they all have in common is that they, like everything in life, can become idols when we carry them without taking them to God. When we harbor them they God encourages us throughout His Word to give our troubles to Him. For in our weakness He can be glorified. David is a good example of our heart’s attitude should be. In Psalms he says, “In my anguish I cried to the Lord, and he answered by setting me free. The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?” Psalm 118:5, 6 (NIV)

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You can choose to ignore God, but God never chooses to ignore us. Nothing we do, or do not do, goes unnoticed. If we are in sin and are not being convicted, it is just a matter of time. You see our sin keeps us from our primary purpose: being lights that point to Him, so that He will be glorified. It is all about Him.

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God does not correct to tear us down or beat us up. He does not delight in our failures. He corrects us because He loves us (Heb. 12:6) and to bring peace into our lives. (Heb. 12:10) What He wants is to bring us back to Him.

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In a few days, it will be the 1,977th anniversary of Christ's death. In three more days it will be the 1,977th anniversary of the Resurrection of Christ. All of the above lessons are possible because of this one set of events. On Saturday, I went to the mercy seat with a beaten and tattered soul. In His mercy and forgiveness I found grace and restoration. All He asks is that we meet Him there. What better way is there to honor the sacrifice He made to save us?

Lisa