Finding Freedom in Being Wrong

Have you ever had an epiphany? A moment when shocking truths rained down upon you with such unbelievable clarity that you were literally left stunned and humbled by it? I have ... recently ... and it was both painful and freeing.

You see a few years ago, I learned a valuable lesson about gossip and talking about others. I got it in my head. I knew that it was wrong. I knew that God did not approve of it. I vowed to not do it. I even was lead to undertake an amazing journey of purposefully building other people up. BUT I didn't really get it ... until recently when I became the victim of gossip. Someone I know talked about me behind my back, and I found out about it. I was crushed, my feelings were battered, and I have had a really difficult time trusting her now. Her words against me were so powerful, but they also brought with them a powerful lesson. For in the midst of my hurt, God spoke to my heart saying, "This is how it felt when you did the same thing to your friend."

I was shocked, for in that moment I realized that my head knowledge about gossip had not changed my heart's understanding of it ... had not brought about repentance from it. You see, although I had learned that Gossip was wrong, I was still carrying with me justifications for why I had done what I had done... rational, believable reasons that had become like truth to me ... and although I had changed, I had not repented. I had not ever come to the end of myself and owned being wrong, but, in that moment God unveiled my eyes ... and I saw all my justifications fall away ... leaving an unmistakable truth ... I was 100% wrong.

For in my hurt, I knew that there was nothing that would justify my hurting someone else the way that I had been hurt. In that moment, my friend's face was woven into my pain ... in that moment, God showed me how badly I had hurt her ... and I for the first time took ownership of that truth in my heart. I was wrong. I was wrong, and I had never really admitted it fully with no excuses. I was wrong, and was in bondage to the lies I had told myself to justify it. I was wrong, and had never been able to seek true forgiveness because I could not see that there was more to be forgiven for. In that moment, I took my sin to my Father's feet and I cried out to Him from my heart and asked for forgiveness. I offered up not one excuse, and the most amazing thing happened. In embracing being wrong, I found peace and freedom and realized that it was in admitting being wrong that I found God's mercy, and healing.

A few weeks out, and I can't help but wonder how many times we do this. I keep asking myself how many times we try to hide our Sin, just like Adam and Eve tried to cloak their nakedness (and sin) in the garden when God came to call upon them. I keep wondering how often do we do such a great job of justifying what ever it is that we are doing, that we no longer recognize it as sin. I think it is probably more often than we would like to think. We need to make a point of asking the Lord to search us and know us ... to examine our hearts and bring to light any impure or sinful actions, thoughts, or words that we might really lay them down ... to illuminate any sin that we have too grown comfortable with ... and make it once again painful that we might recognize it for what it is and repent.

So what happened to me in all this? I found an amazing freedom, freedom from a sin I did not even recognize to be unresolved. I repented, and sought forgiveness. I found peace in the pain of learning, and I finally understand the depths of the damage that speaking unedifying words about others can do. I recognize it fully for the deceiving destroyer that it is, and will stand against it whenever it comes calling. I found freedom in being wrong.

Lisa

This Broken Vessel

Good morning all! I pray that this post finds you all going deeper with our God and King. I offer up today another poem. One day soon I will sit down and share some amazing God stories ... but for now ...

This Broken Vessel


Holy Redeemer
Wonderful One
Paid in love
with the blood
of His Son
the cost of my ransom
the weight of my sin
nailed to the cross
to bring life within
this broken vessel
for a glorious King
now poured out inside me
to His glory brings
this broken being
unfit and lost
forfeiting all
for the life of
Christ's Cross.

- Lisa 2010

Hello my bloggie friends. I have so must to tell you about what I have learned in the next week, but for tonight you will have to make due with a new poem ...


Child of Mine

Child of mine
Lend me your ear
Come, cast down your sorrows
Let go of your fears
Deny the world’s lies
For they are not real
Trade them in now
For my truths revealed
For I know of your weakness
Your fears and your pride
I know how you stumble
I’ve heard when you cried
I know all your secrets
So, stop trying to hide
From your Father who loves you
Who in you resides
It’s time to go deeper
To surrender it all
To let go of your life
And answer my call
For you are my child
Held tight in my hand
Come, there are truths
You must understand
By me you are cherished
Your appointment’s divine
I formed, made, and chose you
At the beginning of time
You’re called for a purpose
Nothing’s by chance
You’re not defined
By your circumstance
So come now surrender
Just lay it all down
Stop chasing things
That just can’t be found
For I am sufficient
I’m all that you need
I’m your protector, your healer,
Come rest at my feet
For I am waiting
I’m drawing you near
It’s time to go deeper
You’ve nothing to fear.

May we all go deeper ... deeper in love with God ... deeper in obedience to God ... deeper in relationship to God ... deeper in God's Word .... and may we do it with excitement and dedication.

Lisa

I want to share a post that another friend of mine just shared on Facebook. I think that it paints an amazing perspective of hope and faith when facing a problem that is so big it feels impossible to face or do anything about. She is a missionary and writes about the trying to make a difference in the poverty of Costa Rica.

“I’m gonna go fight poverty for two and a half hours. Two and a half hours on a Tuesday morning to solve the biggest problem in the world. What a joke. We will show up with a bag full of bread and an armload of bananas, and the children will clamber around us like ducks at a pond. A bunch of little ducklings, falling all over each other for a bit of bread and a soft pat on the head.

And for 2 and a half hours we will laugh and play and eat, and we will talk about Jesus. And when we leave, they will be just as poor as when we arrived. Poverty taunts us as we drive away. It’s overwhelming. The problem is so big, and we are so small. It feels ridiculous… showing up to war wielding a loaf of bread.

Of course that’s how David showed up. Just a shepherd boy with some bread for his brothers, a kid who was quick with a sling shot. He chose for battle against a giant, not a sword, or the kings armor, but five smooth stones. And he won.

He said to the giant:”You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the LORD Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. This day the LORD will hand you over to me, and I’ll strike you down and cut off your head. Today I will give the carcasses of the Philistine army to the birds of the air and the beasts of the earth, and the whole world will know that there is a God in Israel. All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the LORD saves; for the battle is the LORD’s, and he will give all of you into our hands.” ~1 Samuel 17

I kind of love that. I’m going to feed the ducks, now. And then, with all my might, I will hurl a tiny pebble at their giant enemy. And I hope it hurts like hell.“

And I love that.

So pick up your pebbles, people. Here we go...

First, I think that each of us should hurl some pebbles at this massive giant ... see my last post for a great way to do so ... BUT think this also holds an superb truth for us in every day life ... what giants are you facing? A friend of mine just found out she has breast cancer ... hurl some pebbles. Another is lost in a marriage that desperately needs healing ... hurl some pebbles. Another has grown bitter over the years and just can't seem to find her way back to peace ... hurl some pebbles. What battle are you running from? Stop, take a deep breath, remember who is fighting with you, and hurl some pebbles!

Lisa