Hello, it's been awhile, 6 months to be exact. Strange how times fly. Strange how after so long a song on the radio brings me back to this place. The place of writing and sharing ... of vulnerability and transparency. But, here I am.
My life has been so full lately. I have found myself put upon a new path ... and with that path a new journey with new responsibilities. I have had to revisit a time of my life that was very abusive, and see it from God's point of view. He is revealing truths about that time that are some times startling ... other times freeing ... and still other times challenging. One thing that He has reveled to me in walking forward from this time in my life is that I am prone to abuse myself emotionally in the form of negative self-talk ... which has led to me pondering just why I do it. Which leads me to today .. and the song ... I've Been Redeemed by Big Daddy Weave.
(Here are the words .. in case you have not heard it .. and then I will share what God showed me.)
Seems like all I could see was the struggle
Haunted by ghosts that lived in my past
Bound up in shackles of all my failures
Wondering how long is this gonna last
Then You look at this prisoner and say to me "son
Stop fighting a fight it's already been won"
I am redeemed, You set me free
So I'll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe away every stain, now I'm not who I used to be
I am redeemed, I'm redeemed
All my life I have been called unworthy
Named by the voice of my shame and regret
But when I hear You whisper, "Child lift up your head"
I remember, oh God, You're not done with me yet
I am redeemed, You set me free
So I'll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe away every stain, now I'm not who I used to be
Because I don't have to be the old man inside of me
'Cause his day is long dead and gone
Because I've got a new name, a new life, I'm not the same
And a hope that will carry me home
I am redeemed, You set me free
So I'll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe away every stain, 'cause I'm not who I used to be
I have heard this song so many times ... but today God sang it to me and revealed something to me ... the person singing is redeemed ... and yet carries "heavy chains" and wears the "Stains" of one who is not. How many of us are like that? I would venture to guess many of us. You see, all of the negative words that I speak to myself continually add to the links in the chains that bind me ... stain the way I feel about myself. And then there was the following line: All my life I have been called unworthy Named by the voice of my shame and regret ... and it hit me ... I "one redeemed" allow myself to be deceived and named by a voice other than that of my Father. A voice the has filled me with untruths that have undermined my self-esteem and, even worse, have muffled the voice of the One by whom I am Redeemed.
I call myself unworthy ... the truth is I am priceless.
I call myself ugly ... the truth is I am perfectly and wonderfully made.
I call myself unfaithful ... the truth is I am full of faith
I call myself wounded ... the truth is I am healed
I call myself misunderstood ... the truth is I am understood to the innermost parts by El Roi
The list goes on and on.
The truth is that Satan feeds me twisted truths .. truths that can be proved when viewed through the lens of this world ... and I ... over time ... buy into them and the mirror of the world empowering these words to shape me and form me. The most amazing part of this is that eventually I come to believe the words and speak them to myself over and over again.
Notice with me a simple concept in the chorus of this song ...
I am redeemed, You set me free
So I'll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe every stain, yeah, I'm not who I used to be
Notice with me a simple truth in the chorus of this song ... the person talking declares that they will shake off the heavy chains ... wipe off every stain ... how many times do we loose sight of the fact that we, as believers, are redeemed? How often do we pick up heavy chains that we do not need to carry .. by choice ... by deception ... and walk a road that is not made for us? How often do we forget that we are redeemed?
I am redeemed, You set me free
So I'll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe every stain, yeah, I'm not who I used to be
Oh, God, I'm not who I used to be
Jesus, I'm not who I used to be
'Cause I am redeemed
Thank God, redeemed
Lisa